Saturday, 28 August 2010

the subtle brilliance of j-biebz

Justin Bieber haters are lone wolves fighting the mainstream.

After posting that I thought Baby is a good song, I was called a "fag" approximately twelve times. But I stand by my word, Baby truly is a wonderful song, and I think the social impact it has on girls is very misguided. While some think it's just another song about an underage slut; girls think it's a cheery song, which makes it so great. Like Britney Spears, Bieber is the same person casting many different personas: to black people and males above the age of 8, he's just a wigger. Younger and older girls view him as an understated heartthrob. Parents view him as a flash-in-the-pan. Rock magazines see him as just another popstar. If you examine Baby, you can see that it's really a song about heartbreak, as Justin Bieber learns that a large amount of the female population hates him. It's this unobtainable beauty that haunts him, and he realizes this at the age of sixteen, no less. His obsession overtakes him, spiraling him into a deep depression when he realizes that his name will always be hollow. This self-actualization lulls him into a state of deep depression, but the cheerful synthline is still there, constantly reminding him that the one girl he only really loved is practically dead. "I'm going down, down, down, dooown," he sings. This is a clever double entendre, and both meanings aren't relevant to any tween. His agony can only be healed by anti-depressants, but at the same time the only thing that makes him feel better is killing him, as he falls "down, down, down" on the floor, the result of his suicide. Also notice that the music video for "Baby" takes place at a bowling alley, where one fuck-up will totally ruin your spare/strike. Think about it.
Pictured above: alleged genius

Bieber exists to fill the holes in our hearts. Young girls have a new idol they can vent their unnatural, Disney Channel sexuality over, younger men have a new twat to vent their anger towards, the RIAA, of course, has a new cash-cow, journalists and tabloid writers now have more to write about/talk about at cocktail parties, and older men and women have a manifestation of how much the next generation will fail (a flawed argument, but a popular one.) He's here until some other teen dream comes to steal the hearts of eight year-olds.

And that's why Justin Bieber is a martyr.