taking it to the streets

I'm no sucker for dad-rock, and I don't think I ever will be. It just seems like the majority of it is overrated yet pretentious, and this is coming from a Radiohead fan. The Doobie Brothers have always been one of my dad's favorite bands, and I'm just now starting to appreciate them. Their "Best Of" album is probably their best-selling (deal with it, hippie), and if it were a normal album and not just a showcase of their best jams, it would be damn well near perfect. The Doobies have a great mix of funk and rock, meaning that you can sing along to their songs while driving down the highway (presumably in a car. Don't be an asshole and get a motorcycle). Their music is also reminiscent of those "black meets white" '70s TV specials that had black people in afros dancing with white Magnum P.I. look-alikes and relatively attract women. Maybe it's cheesy, but you could use a break from journeying into the depths of your mind and listen to some fucking cowbells.

'twas a dinosaur act

Post-rock, overall, is pretty okay, I guess. Some people can sit in their own filth and misery while listening to dreamy whispers over ominous static, others can't. I fall into the latter. The fuel to depressing music, in my opinion, needs a little more substance. That's why I can sit in my own filth and misery to Red House Painters much better than, say, Godspeed You! Black Emperor. Despite my little schpiel on post-rock, I rediscovered Things We Lost in the Fire by Low recently, and I really enjoy it. I'm a sucker for female and male vocals combined, so maybe that's what's doing the trick. I still can't see the appeal of Justin Bieber, though.

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN

It's funny because he's a man-lady. Haha. Anyways, Low's whispery-soft female delivery with the solid-yet-light tone of the male's really hooks me in, along with the chimes and acoustic guitar. It's so soothing that they can ask "What is a whore?" (in the aptly-named track 'Whore') and make it sound gospelesque. The lack of synth is also very refreshing from what I've been listening to lately. I think minimalism that can still express heavy anger or sadness is miles more advanced than "LOL WE ADD SYNTH AND SING ABOUT MY HEART EXCEPT IT'S A TICKING CLOCK WAITING 4 U." 'Like a Forest' portrays the former experience. Low really does a good job of crafting a unique experience that feels uneasy yet melancholic.

where's my sex!?

Folks, it's time we accepted the fact that there will never be another Pinkerton. I realize a lot of you accepted this a while ago, but I think that, even if Cuomo consciously decided to emulate Pinkerton, it would just sound like a 40 year-old trying to make another confessional, you know? With that kept in mind, Hurley is pretty not-that-bad. Maybe, perhaps, good? Now, I'm aware that Rivers Cuomo could be riding in his solid-gold jetpack right now laughing as he chews on his solid-gold cigar thinking "Those plebeians actually like that shit!" I mean, this is the man who referred to his fans as "little bitches" back in 2002(ish). In his defense though, it would be pretty annoying if your fans kept on requesting you to go back to your old sounds instead of treading new grounds. Then again, "old sounds" kind of meant "actually good." *pause for laughter and cheering* But I digress. Hurley goes back to the power-pop sound of 1994's Blue Album but pumps up the "power." Track one, 'Memories,' starts with a cheesy intro, but then it's followed by a wall of sound. By the time you're questioning whether this is an Arcade Fire-good "wall of sound" or Nickelback-shit "wall of sound," the catchy synth kicks in and it doesn't really matter. So far this is definitely better than a rap-rendition of 'Can't Stop Partying' (I'm still sore over that.) The rest of the album is kind of samey, but it's an okay kind of samey. One of the more memorable moments in Hurley is the song 'Where's My Sex?,' a title that I find genuinely funny. That kind of ridiculousness is classic Weezer, in my opinion. I find that Weezer is trying a little too hard to be edgy though, proven by the fact that this is the first album to be released on an indie label (Epitaph.) Overall, Hurley is an enjoyable (if cheesy) throwback to power-pop, and a positive look into the future. I wouldn't find myself relistening to it on a roughly tri-yearly basis as I do with 2008's Red Album, but it's a step up from my "never-relistening to" basis of Raditude. Just ignore the bonus tracks, unless you want to hear a cover of a Coldplay song (that's great and all, but why bother covering something from 2008?)

In related news, Weezer has announced that Pinkerton is going to be reissued on November 4, along with a collection of out-takes from Blue to Raditude that have, to my knowledge, been rerecorded (it's entitled- I shit you not -Death to False Metal). In a Rolling Stone interview, Rivers Cuomo also stated that he started working on the next Weezer album "this morning," which I assume was sometime in late August.

Oh, and there's a Blue/Pinkerton tour in the works. Just a heads-up.

u r the ocean

I was reading Spin (the U.S. equivalent of NME) recently and, much to my surprise, Phantogram was featured on their summer mix-tape. I downloaded their debut album Eyelid Movies a few months back, so I decided to give them another go. It's very chilled trip-hop that switches from male to female vocals on a track-to-track basis, but to be honest I prefer the female vocals. Almost every melody is super-catchy, and if you aren't humming along to it you're probably sleeping, which is something Eyelid Movies is pretty good for if you're in the mood (though I wouldn't call it ambient). The synth is nice and distorted, while the drum beats are comfortably familiar. Oh, and is that some electric guitar? It meshes together well and creates a spacey atmosphere that hipsters crave.

So kiddos, you heard it here first: Phantogram is the next Crystal Castles [EDIT: Except it's good]. Hop trends before it's too late!

i want...to be...abraham lincoln, embarassingly tall!...

My knowledge of bands that have an animal in the name is...above average? I don't know about that, but I do know that oh my god elephant is on of my favorite one-shot bands. They released their first (and only) EP in 2007, but they never caught on the way, say, Algernon Cadwallader did. It's a shame too, because oh my god elephant is the greatest emo/math-rock fusion this side of Snowing has seen. All five tracks are complex melodramatic tunes being primitively shouted over, and I like that contrast. The occasional back-up vocals and stingy synth really set the mood. The odd acoustic jams also add to the overall variety, while the drumming is consistently amazing. omg elephant later changed their name to Rainbow Tornadoes and released a full-length LP, but, sadly, it was surprisingly lackluster. Still, with these five quality tracks, oh my god elephant can last you forever.

Speakers speakin' speakin' speakin' speakin' in code

You know how some albums are just okay on the first play, but when you relisten to them they give you a total hard-on? That's the case with me and Summerteeth. It went from "okay," to "good," to "awesome," to "orgasmic." I actually enjoy it more than Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. Coming out three years prior, Summerteeth definitely has more pop sensibilities than its successor, and I really enjoy Wilco's pop side. Jeff Tweedy's stream-of-consciousness lyricism shines on She's A Jar (which might just be the greatest song ever), while other songs have cohesive themes (How to Fight Loneliness, A Shot In the Arm, We're Just Friends, et al.) Pieholden Suite is a personal favorite of mine, mainly because the first half is very melodramatic, while the second half is a cheery instrumental that sounds like something out of a Harvest Moon video game. Summer Teeth and ELT do a splendid job of show-casing Wilco's alt. country roots from Being There (and Uncle Tupelo, Tweedy's former band), but, in the same vein as the rest of album, in a much poppier sound. With autumn creeping in on us, it's the perfect time to give Summerteeth a spin.

the subtle brilliance of j-biebz

Justin Bieber haters are lone wolves fighting the mainstream.

After posting that I thought Baby is a good song, I was called a "fag" approximately twelve times. But I stand by my word, Baby truly is a wonderful song, and I think the social impact it has on girls is very misguided. While some think it's just another song about an underage slut; girls think it's a cheery song, which makes it so great. Like Britney Spears, Bieber is the same person casting many different personas: to black people and males above the age of 8, he's just a wigger. Younger and older girls view him as an understated heartthrob. Parents view him as a flash-in-the-pan. Rock magazines see him as just another popstar. If you examine Baby, you can see that it's really a song about heartbreak, as Justin Bieber learns that a large amount of the female population hates him. It's this unobtainable beauty that haunts him, and he realizes this at the age of sixteen, no less. His obsession overtakes him, spiraling him into a deep depression when he realizes that his name will always be hollow. This self-actualization lulls him into a state of deep depression, but the cheerful synthline is still there, constantly reminding him that the one girl he only really loved is practically dead. "I'm going down, down, down, dooown," he sings. This is a clever double entendre, and both meanings aren't relevant to any tween. His agony can only be healed by anti-depressants, but at the same time the only thing that makes him feel better is killing him, as he falls "down, down, down" on the floor, the result of his suicide. Also notice that the music video for "Baby" takes place at a bowling alley, where one fuck-up will totally ruin your spare/strike. Think about it.

Pictured above: alleged genius

Bieber exists to fill the holes in our hearts. Young girls have a new idol they can vent their unnatural, Disney Channel sexuality over, younger men have a new twat to vent their anger towards, the RIAA, of course, has a new cash-cow, journalists and tabloid writers now have more to write about/talk about at cocktail parties, and older men and women have a manifestation of how much the next generation will fail (a flawed argument, but a popular one.) He's here until some other teen dream comes to steal the hearts of eight year-olds.

And that's why Justin Bieber is a martyr.

needs more bleeding vaginas

So, Pitchfork gave Zaireeka a 0/10. This struck me as odd, mainly because it's by the Flaming Lips. See the juxtaposition? But I'm not going to dwell on Pitchfork's abortion of a review. I like to think I'm better than that. The "hook" of Zaireeka is that it comes with four CDs, with eight tracks on each, every disc having an alteration of each song. With a physical copy, you could mix and match discs to see what variation suited you. When all four CDs are played in harmony, weird shit goes down. "Weird shit" as in "beauty". Everything is so fantastically surreal in this album; it's kind of like the disorientation experienced when you get up too quick and blood rushes from your head. Whether it's the means of transportation in the year 2025 or bleeding vaginas, Zaireeka will always keep you engaged with its lyrical content. Distorted guitars, strong drums, and high frequencies will have you a) Brain-washed and b) Coming back for more.

I'm going to mix things up a little bit. Instead of sharing a new album, I'm going to compile a list of my top ten favorite songs ever. I'm hoping that by doing this I can recalibrate my music taste, which is like a vague, unorganized cloud of vapor right now. I've limited myself to one song per artist, so don't worry about 80% of this being Elliott Smith songs (seriously, I would totally do that.)

10. Modest Mouse -Custom Concern (This is a Long Drive For Someone With Nothing to Think About, 1996) Runner-up: Trailer Trash
This song perfectly wraps up my feelings on my existence ("Gotta go to work, gotta go to work, gotta have a job"). Why #10, then? My existence is profoundly dull.

9. Pixies - Gigantic (Surfer Rosa, 1988)
Apparently this is the reason Kim Deal didn't get to contribute that much (lyrically) to the Pixies. I can't see how her sexy, mysterious voice could be considered a bad thing. Okay, so it's pretty much a song about banging a black dude, but... Fuck man, that bass!

8. Jimmy Eat World - Clarity (Clarity, 1999) Runner-up: Drugs or Me
A bunch of people imply that Clarity was the only good Jimmy Eat World album. Apparently it had more depth than songs like 'The Middle'. Bullshit. Jimmy Eat World has always been about simple angst, which is why I love them so much. Clarity just seems more fresh.

7. Cap'n Jazz - Tokyo (Analphabetpolothogy, 1998)
Far be it from me to give Cap'n Jazz anymore credit than they already deserve. I like them, I just think they're grossly overrated. Tokyo is the one of the reasons I love them so much. I found myself thinking "Damn, that kid sounds like he has a stuffy nose. Someone should give him some chicken-noodle soup" when I first heard it, but the raw voice is probably one of it's best aspects. Oh, and the reference to Christopher Cross's 'Arthur's Theme'? /swoon

6. David Bowie - Space Oddity (Space Oddity, 1969)
Sci-fi, quasi-folk, free-form jazz, death, and David Bowie. Sounds like a total winner to me. Space Oddity is one of the grimmest, most melodramatic pop songs I've heard. It's an about an astronaut (Major Tom, but I don't see how an astronaut could be a "major." Maybe he slept with his employer) getting lost in space, the worst death imaginable. David Bowie would go on to dress in drag and sing about "ch-ch-ch-changes" roughly three years after Space Oddity's release. Huh.

5. Sunny Day Real Estate - The Shark's Own Private Fuck (How it Feels to Be Something On, 1997) Runner-up: Seven
You had me at the bass intro. Jeremy Enigk squeezes so much bottled-up anger in this track, yet it's not as heavy as, say, Seven.

4. Beck - Where It's At (Odelay, 1996) Runner-up: Teenage Wastebasket
When my friends ask me what music I listen to, I usually just play some Beck for them. "Oh, you know, folk and sadcore" just isn't as appealing to my peers as "That was a good drum-break". Usually (relatively) happy songs make me more depressed, but Where It's At is pure fun.

3. The Get Up Kids - Campfire Kansas (On a Wire, 2002) Runner-up: Washington Square Park
A song about camping with friends. Not suicide or hopelessness; a campfire. This is how I want my teenage life to be like (i.e., having friends that I would want to spend time with)

2. Elliott Smith - King's Crossing (From a Basement On the Hill, 2004) Runner-up: Last Call
"I am going to stab myself in the chest." That could've been the message of this song, because the whole thing sounds like a suicide note (and the lyric "Because I took my own insides out"). In the context of Elliott Smith's 2004 suicide where he actually stabbed himself in the chest, this manages to get even more depressing. I still get chills when the synth kicks in. This could only be topped by...

1. Wilco - Jesus, Etc. (Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, 2002)
Listening to this song is the best explanation there is.

like a friend you dont want to see

A great thing about bands like Radiohead and Wilco is that the songs can have a different meaning to them. Did you get laid to She's a Jar? Bam, that song becomes happy (over time). Was Kid A playing when your love left you? Bam, that song becomes sad (over time). Sometimes with bands like the Killers and Jimmy Eat World I ask myself "Do I like the song or do I like the context?" This is not the case with Red House Painters. I guess you can't expect anything worthy of a "Rockin' Road Trip" mix-tape or happy memories from a genre called sadcore. Not like that's a bad thing; their minimalistic opening track '24' is very fresh and keeps your attention. 'Medicine Bottle' is considerably heavier than '24' and is almost like a suicide note. The title track is epic - at 11 minutes it still manages to stay consistent instead of starting out strong and then haphazardly dragging on. 'Japanese to English' is a personal favorite, and has a hopeless vibe to it. Maybe it's a little cliche ("It's not that simple, this dictionary/It never has a word for the way I'm feeling"); but I like it that way. 'Lord Kill the Pain' has a decidedly alt-country tone, and is a breath of fresh air due to its relative fastness. 'Michael' is the grand finale, and wraps the album together nicely. It's similar to the title-track, but a tad dreamier.